Interactive Focusing Format
By Mary Melady, reviewed and edited by Janet Klein
Part One: The Focuser's Story
A.
Focuser:Tells a reasonable part of her story, always touching into the bodysense.
Listener: Listens from the bodysense and offers reflective responses throughout the story-telling.
B.
Focuser: Resonates the reflection for accuracy, to see if the inner experience shifts, to see if more comes. Gives Listener feedback, e.g. "I need more time with that," "I’d like to hear that again," "Yes…," "No, it’s more like…," "There’s another part I need you to hear…."
Listener: Reflects the feedback to acknowledge the correction and to let the Focuser resonate it, e.g. "So it’s more like…," "It’s not…, it’s…."
C.
Focuser: Checks to see if she has come to a resting place with this part of her story.
Listener: Also, can check with the Focuser to see if this part feels complete.
Part Two: The Double Empathic Moment The "Golden Moment"
D.
Focuser: Invites the Listener to go inside to the bodysense to form the empathic response: How does the Listener get that it is for the Focuser from the Focuser’s internal frame of reference. At the same time, the Focuser checks inside to get the edge of where she is with her own story and to be gentle with what is there for her.
Listener: Goes inside: Takes time to let a bodysense form. Listens inside as if she were the Focuser. How might all that feel for the storyteller?
E.
Note: Usually the Listener goes first with the empathic response.
Listener: Offers the empathic response: The metaphor or image that has formed. It is usually brief and more poetic, capturing the essence of it.
Focuser: The Focuser resonates the Listener’s empathic response to see if it fits and gives feedback if needed, e.g. "That really captures it," or "It’s more like…for me."
F.
Focuser: Offers what came when she went inside to get how it is for her now in this new moment.
Listener: Gives reflective responses.
G.
Focuser: Quiet moment to savor how it feels to share oneself and feel empathically heard.
Listener: Quiet moment to savor how it feels to hear and take someone into your space, empathically.
Part Three: The Interactive Response
The pair switches roles
H.
The Focuser becomes the "new" Listener. Asks what got touched inside the "new" Focuser by what she just shared.
The Listener becomes the "new" Focuser. Checks inside to see what got touched by the first Focuser’s story.
They follow A-G above so the Listener has a chance to tell her story and feel empathically heard.
Part Four: The Interactive Closing — The relationship check
I.
Focuser and Listener: How do I feel about you now that we have shared all of that?
Focuser and Listener: How do I feel about myself after sharing all of that with you? How do I feel about us?
Summary: The Interactive Focusing Model Short form for Dyads
Part One: The Focuser’s Story
- The Focuser tells her story
- The Listener gives reflections
- The Focuser resonates and gives feedback if necessary
- Full Empathic Response by both the Listener and Focuser
Part Three: The Interactive Response
- Exchange roles and repeat Part One and Part Two
Part Four: The Interactive closing, The Relationship Check
- How they now feel about each other and
- How they now feel about themselves.