This article was taken from Inside-Me Stories by Janet Klein, Psy.D. Please see the resources at "Order Materials" if you wish to place an order for this book.
Finding Inside-Me
James and Annie were five years old. It was time to start kindergarten. The day had finally come.
James was looking forward to school. He would catch the school bus at 8:30 and wouldn’t be home until 11:30. He hadn’t been away from home for such a long time ever before. He wanted to ride the bus by himself. He wanted to meet new kids. He wanted to go to the big school that was too far from his home to walk. He wanted to see his teacher, Ms Grey. He had met her during the summer at a parent/child/teacher conference. He liked her. She smiled, and she listened to him, quietly.
By the time James got to school, he was missing his mother…a little. He did like meeting the new children, but there were so many. Twenty children in one place at one time was confusing.
Annie had been concerned. She liked being at home with her mother and sister. And she liked playing at home with James who lived next door. They were best friends, and she was glad that he was going to be in her class. She, too, had met Ms Grey, and liked her. Still, it would be different, and that worried her.
When they got to school Ms Grey asked them to sit in a big circle. There were pillows on the floor they could sit on. She asked each child to relax. She said they could let their eyes look down at the floor or even close their eyes if they wanted. Then she showed them how to take three big breaths to calm themselves down. She asked them to take a big, deep breath — in through their nose. Then she showed them how they could blow all the air out through their mouth. And the children could feel themselves getting quiet and relaxed. Ms Grey reminded them that they could allow their eyelids to drop down or even let them close if they wanted to.
Next she said something that made the children smile. She said that they could welcome themselves to school. They could drop down inside of themselves and say a big hello to themselves. James tried it. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Right where he could feel that, he said silently inside there, "Hello, James." And Annie tried it, too. She dropped all the way down to her stomach. It was a little lumpy feeling. She said, "Hello, Annie." Both James and Annie felt more at home in school…now that they welcomed themselves there.
Ms Grey said they could hug themselves in their inside-place. Some of the children put their arms around themselves, and some of the children imagined they were doing that inside themselves.
The children remained quiet for a while. Ms Grey said they could open their eyes and bring their attention to the group. When everyone had opened their eyes, Ms Grey asked if anyone wanted to share what happened Inside-Them.
James went first. He said he thought it was funny, at first, to say hello to himself inside. But when he said "Hello, James" in his quiet inside voice, he felt friendly…like he was his own buddy. He had put his arms around himself, and that really felt good. He had been a little lonely…missing his mom. James laughed and said, "Now I know I have a friend at school…myself!"
Annie volunteered to share next. She told how it felt lumpy inside, like lumpy pudding. It felt smoother and softer when she said hello to herself. When she imagined hugging herself, she felt quiet and stronger. It felt like when she’s upset or crying, and her mother gives her a hug. Annie said, "I never knew that I could hug myself, and it would feel like when my mom hugs me. I guess I’m older than I thought!" Then she laughed.
Several of the other children shared. Then Ms Grey told them they could drop down inside themselves any time they wanted and say hello and give themselves a hug. She asked when they thought they would want to do this. They said when they were sad and lonely or scared or…just about anytime, because it felt so good.
Teacher’s Guide
Finding Inside-Me
This is a "beginning" story. It deals with issues of separation and anxiety. What can your students do when they are separated from the familiar and confronted with new situations? How can you help them feel they are part of this group? How can you help them adjust and center themselves? How can you be instrumental in their developing self-esteem by developing a feeling of competence — "I can do it." How can you help them develop their empathy and compassion…and self-empathy and self-compassion? How can they learn to name and share their experience? Help them discover their inside being…and help them understand themselves in a caring way.
Exercises
Classroom exercise: Group sharing. The teacher can ask the children to share 1. How it felt inside to hear the story about James and Annie and their first day at school. The teacher can model this by telling how she/he empathically felt when she heard the story. 2. The teacher can share her own personal experience. Can they remember their own experience of their first day away from their mother and father and how that felt inside? Ask them to sense how that feels inside and get a word or an image for it. 3. In situations like this, what can they do to let themselves feel okay inside? Let them generate their own strategies. You can suggest ways, also.
You can lead them through their own experience "dropping down inside and saying hello to themselves." You will find a complete relaxation exercise in Appendix B.
Creative exercises: Draw a picture (perhaps of their family or their room at home). Write their own Inside-Me story. If they are too young to write, they can dictate the story to you. Vivian Gussin Paley has written a series of books which are highly recommended about children telling their own stories.
They can develop a group collage in which all the students are invited to contribute to help them bond as a group and guard against exclusionary practices.
Partnership sharing: Pair off exchanging listening and storytelling about something this brings up in them. Teacher can coach a pair as a demonstration.